Mom and Dad, I'm calling today because Sonia came out to her parents about two and a half months ago. They had a hard time with it at first (her mother threatening suicide, her father insisting she can still get back on "the right path" and not ruin her life).
But just over two months later, I've had two dinners with them and her mother is dropping hints about babies and asking to meet you while we make kim bop.
What a natural parental instinct -- to want to meet the person that your child has chosen, then to want to meet their family.
It made me remember a tipsy phone call we had about a year after Sonia and I started dating. I was the only tipsy one, to my knowledge. I called your house needing a bit of honesty. I remember talking about my admiration for Sonia and her parents from a half a dozen different angles, trying to help you see why this relationship was the best one of my life.
That would have been a good and appropriate time for you to say you wanted to meet them. But you didn't. I did most of the talking.
Instead, Sonia and I are approaching our four-year anniversary and it seriously shocked me when her parents said they wanted to meet you. When I realized that this "meet the parents" moment was probably going to happen, my stomach sank.
Would you be willing to do it? Furthermore, do I even want you to meet them without knowing if you would support our marriage? What about kids?
I haven't put my life on hold, but I don't look forward to milestones because of the weight of navigating them with shaky parental support.
I'm thirty-six years old and I've built my own life. But the desire for parental acceptance is strong. I've held onto a candle of hope that the two of you would come around, but the flame is fanned by an absence of conversations, an avoidance of the big topics.
I won't let our marriage and any children we're lucky enough to have be tainted by your shaky support or overt judgement.
Sonia and I would like your support during these upcoming milestones, but if there is some point your religion won't let you pass, we need to know now. So we can get on with it, with all of the information.
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